Hi, it’s Angel on her cozy café-style alt account! Today, I want to know how everyone’s doing and check in.
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Spring break just ended, and I’m still exhausted. I have three jobs, and the break was really just from one job.
I’ve been struggling with ideation not because I’m sad or upset, but just fucking tired. I got to work before 8 am this morning, I got home at 9 pm. Tomorrow it’s only 8-7 and I get a couple of breaks, but I’ll need to grade. So still working. Probably should be grading right now, but it’s 11 and I just want to be stoned and getting just a little bit of something fun. A video game, a book, idk.
I need to work all the time, so I can make enough money to move to a different state. And that’s scary and overwhelming by itself. I don’t have a support system, and I’m split between whether I’m going to try to make it on my own (which will probably mean three jobs for a while in the new state) or absolutely gambling and moving in with an older man in a sugar daddy situation. I need to be cleaning my apartment and downsizing and all of that shit, but I just don’t fucking want to when I’m finally home from work. I needed to get an oil change during the spring “break” and that still didn’t happen.
It’s hard to feel like there’s any point to all of this. I can work 12+ hours a day, go home and zone out, then wake up the next day to do it again. Forever. Why would I want to do this? Where is happiness?
Sad.
Appointment later this week for depression.
I’m so tempted to just ask for something fast-acting that can bring relief immediately… is there even such thing…
Like you’re telling me antidepressants takes WEEKS TO MONTHS TO TAKE EFFECT? If I can even get them to prescribe it soon enough…
What if I kinda wanna kms RIGHT NOW? Why isn’t there something that makes me less depressed so I feel okay enough to go outside for a walk?
In my experience (which varies from person to person), it only took a day to start feeling the effects of it in the form of mood swings. Might have been placebo, but hey, placebos work.
Good luck, and you deserve to care for yourself.
Congrats on the appointment. Antidepressants take weeks to months to reach their target dosage due to the half-life of the medication. However, you’ll usually start to feel the effects sooner. Believe me, I’ve been on basically every class.
Why isn’t there something that makes me less depressed so I feel okay enough to go outside for a walk?
That’s the vicious cycle of depression. It robs you of the energy to do the little things that help with the pain. There are no silver bullets with antidepressants but they can take off the edge once you find the right one for you.
I attempted to take my life a few years ago. I was found, rushed to the ER, and after a week in the ICU, pulled through. After being in a psych ward for a very long time, I was eventually released. I’d like to say my outlook on life got better, but it’s more so just different. But I now live with permanent brain damage. People have described me as a shell of my former self. So please give the medication some time to work.
You seem like a very genuine person from all of your posts. You will not always live with your conservative mother; there are many like-minded people out in the world. I’m excited for you to meet all of them.
I’m good, thank you.
I had a an awesome performance review last week, got a bonus, and I had nice weekend playing games with friends, and it really pulled me out of a slump.
How are you OP?
I’m ok, thanks for asking! I was depressed, now I have a full stomach, I’m happy, and still a bit depressed/low but feeling better!!!
A full stomach always helps!
Got involved in drama for having a more nuanced view on something everyone is screaming about. Tempted to add Lemmy to the list of social media I’m not allowed to look at when I wake up…
Other than that, spoke with my counsellor and I think I’m getting better at taking care of myself and giving myself space. So that’s good.
Also got some seeds and strawberry plants and planted the later. It’s windy outside, so I hope they’ll be okay overnight.
Oh, and played some Escape Sim with some friends, which was fun.
have a doctors appt this week to talk about mental health. im on medicaid though and it is more talk than action with the way it works.
Typical Monday. On weekends I told myself to stop caring so much about work. First call with client infuriated me so much that I had to mute and scream to cool down. Likely I’m working from home so my colleagues do not know I’m crazy. Just yet. 🫠
